


Sweetheart the Orchid

by FishingforCrows



Series: Our New Life on Our Side [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishingforCrows/pseuds/FishingforCrows
Summary: Aziraphale spies a black orchid in a flower shop and thinks it would make the perfect gift for Crowley. Crowley is mortified.Mini-fic based off this tumblr post:https://wanderlust-and-rainbows.tumblr.com/post/185692777646/im-very-soft-about-the-idea-of-aziraphale-giving





	Sweetheart the Orchid

**Author's Note:**

> I literally wrote this in my notes app so if there’s spelling errors please have mercy lol

_ Angel, what have you done? _

Crowley had a stale, forced smile on his face as he looked down at the small clay pot in his hands.

“They’re black! They match your flat!” Aziraphale chirped excitedly, grinning from ear to ear. He was obviously very proud of himself and Crowley could not bring himself to explain the burden his angel had just put on his shoulders. Aziraphale had just gifted him a fragrant, flowering, Fredclarkeara After Dark. A black orchid. “I was walking by this flower shop and it made me think of you because you always have such lovely, green plants growing in your flat. So, I went inside and I spotted these flowers and instantly knew I had to get them for you,” He chattered on excitedly, Crowley nodding along still with a fake grin plastered across his face. 

Of all the plants the angel could have picked, he had to go for an orchid. Notoriously finicky and difficult to keep looking beautiful. Even if this was considered an easier variety to grow, it still wasn’t your average snake plant that any idiot could keep alive. That wasn’t even the real problem, though; Crowley could terrify any plant into blooming. With enough of his special brand of discipline, he could make even the most particular tropical plants grow. In England, no less. But he knew, in his dark little heart, that he could never bring himself to scream at this plant. He could never hiss threats to it as he unceremoniously pruned it’s wilting blooms. No, this plant would have to be exempt from his cruelties. Because he knew, that every time he looked at its black petals, he would think of Aziraphale. He could never be that evil to his angel, so he could never be that evil to this plant.  _ So how the fuck was he supposed to make it grow? _

“You… really know me,” The demon gritted out through a clenched jaw. Aziraphale, as blissfully unaware as always, beamed happily. Crowley imagined that grin fading into gentle disappointment the next time Aziraphale saw the plant, wilting and pathetic. He would have to figure out how to keep this damned thing alive if it killed him. 

As soon as Aziraphale left and he could drop his calm façade, Crowley began rushing around his flat like a madman, seized with panic. He had left the pot in the atrium with the other plants while his angel was visiting, he ran it and snatched it up. “If any of you lazy, wilting, degenerate BASTARDS think I’m leaving this here with you to pick up your horrid habits you’re wrong!” He hissed at the plants there. “I’m going to put this plant through ten times what you’ve been through until it’s the most beautiful orchid in all of London!” He threatened, lying through his teeth so as to not let the others think he was going soft. 

“I didn’t mean that,” He whispered to the orchid as he rushed to the other side of the flat. “You’re going be fine, everything’s fine,” 

_Light, it needs medium light_ . Crowley thought to himself. The window in the bathroom got good light but the high humidity in there would probably be too much for the delicate flowers. The kitchen was off limits too, he ran the risk of the orchid witnessing him shoving a disobedient plant down the garbage disposal. It would have to be the bedroom then. 

He stormed into the bedroom and threw his heavy, black-out curtains open. He’d have to start leaving them open now. He carefully calculated the perfect distance from the window to get enough light but not too much. He ended up removing some things from the bookshelf to make space for it. 

“There, now,” He said, looking at the orchid with a furrowed brow. “You are going to live here and grow well, understand?” He said in a tone that was firm but not harsh. “We don’t want to disappoint aziraphale, do we sweetheart?” He hadn’t meant to give it a pet-name, but it had slipped out right where he would usually say ‘angel’. 

Crowley tended to the plant religiously. He checked on it every day, being sure to water and fertilize it as much as it needed.Every time he tended to it he spoke in soft, gentle tones. “You look lovely this morning sweetheart,” he’d say as he carefully spritzed it with its own miniature misting bottle. “You are growing so well,” Occasionally he’d throw in a warning “Don’t even think about letting the other plants know about this, this is our secret,” right before he’d leave the room. 

All the care and effort was worth it when Aziraphale would come over and his eyes would light up at the sight of the beautiful black blooms. “Oh Crowley it looks even more beautiful than when I gave it to you!” He said the first time he laid eyes on it since he’d bought it. Crowley puffed up with pride at that, breathing a mental sigh of relief. 

“Good job, sweetheart,” He whispered to it before him and the angel left the room. 

“Did you say something dear?”

“Nothing, angel!” 


End file.
